A letter to Sunny

Dear Sunny,

I know it seems, sometimes, like there will be no end to the insane amount of struggling. You search endlessly for the key to how to undo the cycle of craziness and every time it seems you've done everything you were told to do, everything everyone said you should do, you seem only to get into a more ludicrously painful predicament. I see how hard you try and wish there was something I could tell you, some words of comfort, some wisdom to impart, but I am at a loss.

It would be easy to feed you some tired cliche' like, "This, too, shall pass" or "It'll get better, you'll see", but you already know those things. You're a smart cookie. You get that it cannot go on like this indefinitely, and probably won't. I also know it won't help to remind you that you're not alone. I know that it pisses you off when people expect a guilt trip to keep you from worrying about real shit going down in your life. Especially because it implies that you don't give a shit about anything but your own problems and anyone who knows you knows that's totally untrue of you.

I can certainly see why you're scared right now. Two years of feeling lost, career wise, is pretty scary. Just when it seems like you have it figured out, some new catastrophe sweeps in like a hurricane, and undoes all your work. And at times it must feel like you're going to lose everything. I wish you had someone "on the inside" there to help you. Someone who could give you a reassuringly tender hug or hold your hand when you feel like you're falling a bit too fast. But wishing won't make it so. So you have to stay strong. You have to keep going. I know you're tired and sometimes think it would be easier if you could just sleep through the whole mess. But that only works when someone else is doing the work and they are not. Even the agencies and institutions whose employees are paid with your taxes and monthly fees are disinterested in doing anything to help you. So you are going to have to help yourself, whether you like it or not.

You can do it, Sunny. You can turn all of this around and live your life without all this fear and worry. The key is there. It's probably right under your nose. Breathe deeply, quiet your fears and maybe you'll see it... glistening in the sunlight... ready to unlock the door to your happiness.

Stay strong! I love you!


Sunny

Letter to Girl At Trader Joes

Ooh NO!
Originally uploaded by Sunny-bunny

Dear Butt floss flasher,

As CB and I were entering Trader Joes, one night last month, we not only noticed you flashing your crack at us, we literally couldn't avoid seeing it. This photo we stealthily snapped, depicts a more reasonable version of what you were flashing about. If we weren't in a hurry, I may have pulled you over to let you know how bad this really was. Then again, you didn't really seem to care. It was, after all, February, rainy, cold and one imagines you would have felt... well... a draft.

Now honey, I feel your pain. I, too, have a gigantic ass and have a difficult time finding jeans that cover the whole expanse. Also, like you, I tend to like some of my clothes to be a bit more on the snug side. I'm sure that when I have resentfully worn my low-rise jeans, I have given people an eyeful of my black granny underwear, but honestly... this was just gross. Your ass crack was visible through your see-thru thong.

Hold on a minute... some dinner just came up...

I blame your friends, crackshow. Surely one of them, by now, could have told you how bad this looks. Shame on them! Perhaps you should be shopping for better buddies, instead of parading your poopshoot at TJs.

Best of luck with the cold you surely must have caught that night from exposure, and I hope that should you decide to wear these pants again, that I am spared the sight.

Nausiated,
Sunny

I Am A Pirate Now

My Pirate alter ego
Originally uploaded by Sunny-bunny

Well, I think we all knew this day was coming. I have finally succumbed to piracy. Luckily, my marauding is safe within the confines of Disney-fied online game playing, or I think we all know that the bloodshed would be innumerable.

This is Rowena. She's my vision of me as a pirate. Yup... she's thin. Fact is, you do so much "running" in this game there's no way she wouldn't be if she were real. I could have chosen for her to be fat. I like that I had the option. But you don't really see a whole lot of them running around in game. I guess when it comes to role playing, one doesn't usually choose to be oneself in game.

She's got big tits. That was not my choice. You cannot make the chests smaller on the female pirates. Interesting, don't you think? I mean, if we're going to customize, shouldn't we be able to have a flat chested pirate lady?

Whatever... creating her was fun, and she's got a lot of boys who like helping her. That's fun. They may not be boys in real life. That's fun, too. Some of them might be 10 years old, and some of them might be 40. Also... as I've mentioned before... fun. It doesn't really matter to me.

Here's what I like... no blood. I know, I've gone soft but there it is. It's not a bloody game. I also enjoy the fact that players can't hurt one another really. I've never enjoyed PVP (player versus player) and I suspect that if it were really an option here, that I would like it a heck of a lot less.

Something that tickles my fancy... sailing. I love getting my little ships (a sloop, a light frigate and a galleon) out on the sea, shooting my canons and sinking ships. Sometimes I get sunk, and that's okay too. It's actually affordable to get your ship fixed, particularly if you're prolific about plundering.

I needed something to take my mind off of how stressful things had gotten. This has been perfect, and it keeps me from going to try to do this stuff in real life. Not plundering, mind you, but dressing up like a pirate. Because that was dangerously near to happening.

Whew... what a relief!